How to Write a Letter to School When Your Child Is Being Bullied: A Complete Guide

When your child is being bullied at school, the instinct is to act immediately. Most parents start with a phone call or a conversation at the school gates. Those conversations can be useful, but they are rarely enough on their own. They are not recorded, they do not trigger any formal process and there is nothing in writing if the situation escalates and you need to show what steps you took.

Writing to the school formally changes the dynamic. A written letter addressed to the headteacher is stored on file and is available to Ofsted inspectors when they visit. It demonstrates that you raised the matter formally, creates a record the school must respond to, and puts the school on notice that you expect action rather than reassurance.

This guide explains what schools are legally required to do about bullying, how to write a letter that gets taken seriously, what to include and what to do if the school does not act.

What Schools Are Required to Do

All schools in England have a legal duty to safeguard the welfare of pupils. Under the Education and Inspections Act 2006, headteachers have the power and the responsibility to regulate the conduct of pupils, including behaviour that occurs outside school premises where it affects the school community. Schools are required to have an anti-bullying policy and to implement it consistently. Ofsted inspectors assess how effectively schools prevent and respond to bullying as part of the inspection framework.

Bullying is not a criminal offence in itself, but specific behaviours that may accompany bullying are. Physical assault, harassment, theft, intimidation and hate crimes based on race, religion, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity are all criminal matters. If the bullying involves any of these elements, the police can be involved alongside or instead of the school.

Schools do not have a legal duty to eliminate all bullying, which would be impossible. What they do have is a duty to take reasonable steps to prevent it, to investigate reports of it promptly and to take proportionate action when it occurs. A school that dismisses a formal complaint, fails to investigate or repeatedly tells you the situation has been dealt with when it clearly has not, is not meeting that duty.

Before You Write: What to Record First

A letter backed by a specific record of incidents is far more compelling than one based on general descriptions. Before writing, spend a few days noting down every incident your child tells you about. Record the date, what happened, who was involved, where it occurred, and how it affected your child. If your child has physical marks, photograph them. If there are screenshots of messages or social media posts, save them.

This record serves two purposes. It gives the school specific incidents to investigate rather than a general complaint to deflect. And it gives you a documented timeline if the situation escalates to the point where you need to involve the local authority, Ofsted or the school governors.

Also check the school’s anti-bullying policy before you write. It should be on the school website. Knowing what the school has committed to in its own policy lets you reference it directly in your letter and measure the school’s response against its own stated standards.

Who to Address the Letter To

Address your letter to the headteacher, not to the class teacher or form tutor. Informal conversations with teachers are useful but they sit outside the school’s formal complaints and safeguarding processes. A letter to the headteacher is a formal communication that the school must treat accordingly.

If the bullying involves a safeguarding concern, for example if your child is being physically harmed or is being targeted because of a protected characteristic such as a disability, also copy the letter to the school’s designated safeguarding lead, whose name should be on the school website.

In a maintained school or academy, if the headteacher does not respond adequately, your next escalation is to the chair of governors. Keep them in mind as you write, as you may need to address them later.

How to Structure the Letter

Opening: State the Purpose Clearly

The opening should state immediately that you are writing about a serious concern regarding your child’s wellbeing and that you are asking the school to take formal action.

Do not soften this to the point where it reads as a general enquiry. Be clear that this is a formal complaint about bullying.

Your Child’s Details

Include your child’s full name, year group and form or tutor group. This allows the letter to be allocated immediately to the right staff without any back-and-forth.

A Specific Account of What Has Happened

Set out the incidents in chronological order. For each one, include the date, what happened, who was involved if known, where it took place, and the effect on your child. Be factual and specific. Do not describe the bullying in general terms such as ‘my child is being constantly picked on.’ Describe what actually happened on specific occasions.

If some incidents occurred online or via messaging, include this. Schools have a responsibility to address cyberbullying that involves their pupils even when it occurs outside school hours.

The Impact on Your Child

Describe how the bullying is affecting your child. Whether they are reluctant to attend school, whether their sleep or appetite has been affected, whether they have become withdrawn, anxious or distressed. If your GP has been involved or has noted signs of anxiety or low mood, mention this. The impact on your child’s wellbeing is directly relevant to how seriously the school should treat the complaint.

Reference the School’s Anti-Bullying Policy

If you have read the school’s policy, reference it. Note what the policy commits to and ask the school to confirm how it intends to meet those commitments in response to your complaint. This signals that you have done your homework and makes it harder for the school to respond with vague reassurances.

What You Are Asking For

Be specific about what you want the school to do. Most parents want four things: an investigation into the incidents, action taken against the pupils responsible, measures put in place to protect their child, and written confirmation of what has been done. Ask for all four explicitly and ask for a written response within a specific timeframe, typically ten working days.

Full Worked Example

[Your name]

[Your address]

[Your email and telephone]

[Date]

[Headteacher’s name]

[School name]

[School address]

Subject: Formal Complaint – Bullying of [Child’s Full Name], Year [X], Form [X]

Dear [Headteacher’s name],

I am writing to make a formal complaint about the bullying my child [name] has been subjected to at school over the past [timeframe]. I am writing to you directly because I want this matter to be treated as a formal complaint and to receive a written response outlining the action the school intends to take.

What has happened

On [date], [describe the incident specifically: name’s bag was taken by [pupils, if known] in the corridor after lunch. Name was called [describe the language used] in front of other pupils. Name did not report this to a teacher at the time because they were afraid of the situation getting worse].

On [date], [describe the second incident: Name received a series of messages via [platform] from an account belonging to [pupil if known] containing [describe the content]. I have screenshots of these messages which I can provide].

On [date], [describe any further incidents]. I have kept a written record of these incidents since [date] which I am happy to share with the school.

Impact on my child

[Name] has become increasingly reluctant to attend school. On [number] occasions in the past [timeframe] they have complained of feeling unwell on school mornings and I believe this is connected to their anxiety about what is happening. [If relevant: I spoke to our GP on [date], who noted that [name] is showing signs of anxiety related to the school situation.] Name’s confidence has been significantly affected and they are no longer willing to take part in [activities they previously enjoyed at school].

Reference to the school’s policy

I have reviewed [school name]’s anti-bullying policy, which states [quote or paraphrase the relevant commitment from the policy, e.g. that all reports of bullying will be investigated promptly and that pupils responsible for bullying will face appropriate consequences]. I am asking the school to confirm how it will meet these commitments in response to this complaint.

What I am asking for

I am requesting that the school: investigates the incidents I have described; takes proportionate action in relation to the pupils responsible; puts measures in place to protect [name] from further incidents; and provides me with a written response within ten working days confirming what action has been taken or is planned.

I would also welcome the opportunity to meet with you to discuss this matter, and am available [suggest times or say you are flexible].

If I do not receive a satisfactory response within ten working days, I will consider escalating this matter to the chair of governors and, if necessary, to the local authority and Ofsted.

Yours sincerely,

[Your name]

[Contact details]

[Attachments: incident log / screenshots / photographs if included]

If the School Does Not Act

If you do not receive a response within ten working days, or if the response does not address your complaint or the bullying continues, escalate in writing. The next steps depend on the type of school.

Maintained Schools and Academies

Write to the chair of governors. The governing body is responsible for overseeing the school’s policies and can hold the headteacher to account for how complaints are handled. If the governors do not resolve the matter, you can complain to the local authority or the Department for Education depending on the type of school. GOV.UK’s guidance on how to complain about a school sets out the exact route for each school type.

Involving Ofsted

Ofsted does not investigate individual bullying complaints and cannot instruct a school to take action in a specific case. However, a complaint to Ofsted is recorded and can inform the focus of an inspection. Under Section 11 of the Education Act 2005, Ofsted considers qualifying complaints that raise concerns about a school as a whole rather than an individual case. If the bullying reflects a systemic failure to implement the anti-bullying policy, Ofsted may act. Submit a complaint via the Ofsted website.

When the Bullying May Be a Criminal Matter

If your child has been physically assaulted, threatened, robbed, or targeted because of a protected characteristic in a way that amounts to a hate crime, report it to the police as well as the school. Call 101 to report a non-emergency or 999 if your child is in immediate danger. You can pursue the school complaint and the police route simultaneously.

When the Bullying Is Linked to a Protected Characteristic

If your child is being bullied because of their race, religion, disability, gender, sexual orientation or other protected characteristic, the school has additional obligations under the Equality Act 2010. Bullying connected to a protected characteristic is not just a behaviour matter. It is a potential equality failure. Name this explicitly in your letter if it applies. Reference the Equality Act and ask the school to confirm how it is addressing its obligations under the Public Sector Equality Duty.

This type of bullying is also more likely to cross into criminal territory as a hate crime. If the targeting is serious or persistent, consider contacting the police as well as escalating through the school process.

Getting Help

Free advice and support for parents dealing with school bullying is available from Kidscape, whose parent advice line (020 7823 5430) provides confidential guidance on how to approach schools effectively. Citizens Advice can advise on your rights and the formal complaints process if the school fails to act. If the bullying has affected your child’s mental health, your GP can refer to appropriate support services.

If you want help drafting a letter that is clearly structured and gives the school everything it needs to investigate properly, the team at LetterLab can help you get the wording right before you send it.

Checklist: Before You Send Your Letter

1. Have you kept a written record of specific incidents with dates before writing?

2. Is the letter addressed to the headteacher, not a class teacher?

3. Does the subject line identify it as a formal complaint?

4. Have you described specific incidents with dates rather than general descriptions?

5. Have you described the impact on your child’s wellbeing and school attendance?

6. Have you referenced the school’s anti-bullying policy if you have read it?

7. Have you stated clearly what action you want the school to take?

8. Have you asked for a written response within ten working days?

9. Have you noted that you will escalate to governors or the local authority if the matter is not resolved?

10. Have you sent the letter by email and kept a copy?

The Key Takeaway: Put It in Writing, Be Specific, Follow Through

A phone call or a chat at the school gates puts nothing on record. A formal written complaint addressed to the headteacher does. It forces the school to respond, creates a file that Ofsted inspectors can access, and gives you a documented foundation if you need to escalate.

Write it factually and specifically. Describe what happened, when and how it affected your child. Ask for specific action and a written response. Then follow through if the response is inadequate. Schools take written complaints from parents seriously, and the ones that do not have escalation routes designed to ensure they do.

Your child deserves to feel safe at school. Putting the complaint in writing is the most effective step you can take to make that happen.